This and That

I feel chatty, so I will recount the various goings on at the House of X. Get ready, it's pretty boring. I recommend having a pillow nearby in case you suddenly fall into a catatonic state from the sheer excitement.

I got an email last night from the Matchmaker at the Golden rescue organization which was worthy of a whoop until I read that they somehow had it in their heads that we had indicated we could not adopt a dog until July 28th. Um, nooooo. I sent a very nice email back essentially saying that wasn't us and could you please put us on the regular adoption track ASAP? They also sent some information on introducing dogs to cats. That should be an entertaining read. Although, I doubt they espouse Mr. X's idea of putting them all together in a steel cage match where only the winner emerges victoriously. Yes, he was kidding.

My parents are climbing the Swiss Alps. They called me yesterday to complain about a) how tired they were, b) how sore they were, c) how freakin' tired they were and d) how they didn't think they could do four more days of torture. I was a little incredulous since they had signed up voluntarily and I asked my dad if he really was secretly expecting an escalator, to which he feebly responded, "well, yeah." Oy. They both kept mentioning how many rocks there were. Well, duh!

I went to Bunco last night and thankfully, did not come home with Pinkey. In fact, I came home with $8 and had two ice cold Dos Equis to boot. Not a bad haul for a night spent throwing around little plastic dice and dishing about the neighborhood gossip.

Speaking of neighborhood gossip, I don't know how much longer I can handle being on the Board of Directors of our little home owners association. Our neighborhood is being torn asunder and divided into two camps: those who want speed bumps and those who do not. Oh, the horror! Seriously, people, we spent at least an hour debating this issue at the general meeting last year. Snore. Obviously, we live in an affluent community because the topic of greatest concern is whether to stick asphalt bumps on the road in an (ineffective) effort to control traffic speeds.

I have been listening to iTunes radio today - switching between the R 'n B channels and classical. Yes, I have very eclectic taste. It reminds me of the Old School station I listened to in the town where we lived. I loved that station and our current city has squat. So, iTunes it is for my fix. I also have access to XM Radio online, but their R n' B stations just aren't cutting it for me. Now, their alternative stations - that's another story entirely.

Our latest Netflix arrived in the mail. We've been Netflix subscribers since 2005 and we love it. Netflix was the only way in which I was able to watch all three seasons of Grey's Anatomy in one summer just in time to catch up to the fourth season - and just in time for the writers' strike! Recently, we watched the first season of the Tudors and both agreed that while it was extremely entertaining, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers was no Henry VIII. The chicken legs are the first dead giveaway as is the whisp of an Irish accent and don't even get me started on the lack of red hair! But, Sam Neill was fabulous. We are also making our way through the Sharpe's series starring - wait for it - Sean Bean! Mr. X and I have been having a grand time watching these gems of 90s production values and bodice-ripping. And, of course, my weekly Sean Bean dose, fully endorsed and encouraged by Mr. X.

That's all the news that's fit to print for now. Scintillating as always.

Left to My Own Devices

Sweetie's job entails a certain amount of travel, although it's been relatively quiet on that front for the past few months. Today, though, he left today for a three-day trip and once again, I am a travel widow. But, I'll share a secret between you, me and the Internet: I like having the house to myself. I can clean and things don't get moved around unless I move them. I can hog the sheets and there is peace in the house after 5pm, the time he would normally get home. I do miss him when he's gone, but I also enjoy the solitude.

His leaving for a trip, however, reminded me of a funny story about one time when he came home from a 5-day trip (Monday through Friday). It was Friday night, in the winter, cold and he didn't get home until about 7:30pm. He was super tired and literally dragging himself home.

"Why yes, Mr. Bean, you can have your way with me."
At the precise moment he came home, I was watching a movie with one of my favorite actors, Sean Bean. Now, I am a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to the delectable Mr. Bean. In fact, I have told Sweetie on many occasions that if given the chance, I would gladly marry said Mr. Bean - despite the fact that he's almost 50, already had three ex-wives and I'm married. Unfortunately, I was beaten to the altar earlier this year by a little hussy who is two years younger than I am. But, a girl can dream.

So, the movie really wasn't that good - but I got it because it was one of the few in which he wasn't cast as the total bad guy and it looked like innocent eye candy. Although, it was made back in the 90's, during what I like to call his Emaciated Period. He has since filled out nicely. Anywho, he was playing a guy who taught photography to adults and (surprise, surprise) got into an adulterous affair with one of his students. He took her on a trip to Paris where they of course did what most people do on adulterous trips to Paris. And, concindentally, what Sweetie and I plan on doing on our non-adulterous trip to Paris.

But wouldn't you know it, Sweetie walked through the door just as the delectable Mr. Bean's very naked behind was on the screen. No, it was not during The Moment - our adulterer was sleeping on his stomach and she (the student) was taking pictures of him as he slept - but it was very obvious that it was a man's behind and soon became clear which man. Without thinking (obviously), I paused the DVD so that I wouldn't lose my place and wouldn't you know, it paused right on the gorgeous behind of Mr. Bean. This is the image that greeted Sweetie as he walked through the door. What a wife I am.

Sweetie thought it was hysterical, no doubt in part because of the look of asbolute horror on my face that the one time I freezed the DVD, it would be on this particular image. He has since told this story to many of our friends, thus not only embarrasing me to high heaven but also revealing my inner most secret desire to see said behind in person.

Luckily this time, there are no Sean Bean movies in the house and he'll get home around 5pm on Thursday when I'll still be pecking away at the old laptop. Why give him any more ammunition to embarrass me in front of our friends?

I should also add that I have no serious intention of marrying Sean Bean. I hear that he's got rather backwards ideas about women (and monogamy) and I love Sweetie much more than the chance of getting it on with a guy who did a relatively mediocre job as the gamekeeper in Lady Chatterly. But, we both get a kick out of discussing my infatuation, and he's always up for watching the next Sean Bean biopic that happens to grace the screen.